


I Know I Haven’t Been Perfect, But Give It Some Time (Not A Single Day Goes By Where You Don’t Cross My Mind)

by smallsmilliman97



Category: Stargirl (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Friendship Angst, Hurt, let Cam interact with the rest of the JSA please!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallsmilliman97/pseuds/smallsmilliman97
Summary: The first painting appeared in her locker the day after it happened. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a small square paper with a sunflower painted on it. She flipped it over to see if the artist had signed their work, they hadn’t.Cameron and Yolanda have been lab partners since seventh grade. And Cameron refuses to stop being her friend because of some stupid photo that got passed around by a bunch of stupid teenagers.
Relationships: Cameron Mahkent/Courtney Whitmore (mentioned), Yolanda Montez & Cameron Mahkent, Yolanda Montez/Henry King Jr. (past)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	I Know I Haven’t Been Perfect, But Give It Some Time (Not A Single Day Goes By Where You Don’t Cross My Mind)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CanaryWarrior](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanaryWarrior/gifts).



> This one goes out to Nikki, she not only gave me the idea, but she was so supportive through the whole time I took writing this. You’re the best!!!
> 
> (Title comes from Cross My Mind by A R I Z O N A)

Yolanda Montez walked down the hallway arm in arm with her boyfriend, Henry King. She smiled kindly at everyone as she passed them, handing buttons to every one they walked passed. They finally stopped in front to talk to one of Henry’s football friends. 

Yolanda’s smile dimmed slightly, as her boyfriend removed his arm as he began discussing their weekend plans. She let her eyes wander to the other side of the hallway, where she caught sight of Cameron Mahkent. Her wide smile returned and she gently tapped Henry’s shoulder to get his attention.

“I’ll be right back.” He nodded, kissing her quickly on the cheek as she made her way to the other side of the hall.

“Hey.” She let out a giggle as the brunette jumped, turning to look at her.

“You’re going to vote for me, right, lab partner?” She asked as she handed him one of her buttons. Cameron let out a small chuckle, reaching for it.

“Of course, lab partner,” He attached the pin to his shirt, beaming at her. 

———

The first painting appeared in her locker the day after it happened. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a small square paper with a sunflower painted on it. She flipped it over to see if the artist had signed their work, they hadn’t.

Yolanda stared at the flower, slowly dragging her hand down it. She smiled. There was only one person she knew that could, or would, do something like this for her. Her eyes flickered to the opposite end of the hallway, where Cameron was in the middle of a very intense conversation with Joey Zarrick. At that moment, however, he looked up, and the pair made eye contact.

‘Thank you,’ she mouthed, clutching the painting to her heart. Cameron smiled widely, nodding. Yolanda slowly began the walk to her first class, the shame and hurt churning in her chest lessening slightly.

———

“Hey, Yolanda.” Cameron sat down next to the girl in chemistry. Yolanda looked up at him, confused.

“You know you don’t have to be my lab partner again this year? I can be the odd person out this year.” Cameron brushed her off.

“There is no way in hell. I NEED you as my lab partner, I will fail without you.”

Yolanda almost burst into tears. No one besides her brother had been so nice to her in the two and a half months since the incident.

“Oh, okay then,” Yolanda wiped her eyes quickly, praying Cameron hadn’t seen the tears.

“How was your summer?” He asked, turning to prop his head up on his fist and looking in her eyes. Yolanda looked as if she’d just sucked a whole bucket of lemons and shook her head.

“I haven’t been allowed to leave my room since it happened...” She fiddled with the end of her braid, not wanting to look him in the eye. What if he thought she was so lame for that?

“I’m sorry, your parents don’t let you leave your room?”

“Yeah, I’m allowed to go to school, and the dinner table, that’s it.”

“That’s fucked up.” Yolanda looked up at the young boy in shock.

“What did you just say?”

“I said that’s fucked up, you didn’t do anything wrong, why are you being punished?” When he looked her in the eye, she had to look away. She’d let enough people see her cry to last a lifetime. She rubbed her eyes, blinking back the tears.

“Try telling that to my parents.”

“They actually think you did something wrong?” Yolanda risked a glance at his face, he looked horrified. The thought that Cameron was upset over the way her parents were treating her made the awful feeling she’d been carrying around for months disappear, if only for a moment.

“I guess?” Yolanda shrugged.

“Mr. Mahkent, Ms. Montez,” Mr. Jones stuck his head between the pair, making Yolanda jump, “Socialize on your own time.” He scolded, looking back and forth between them, shooting daggers with his glare. Yolanda sucked her lips in as she nodded. She let out a long exhale, glancing over her shoulder at him as he walked away.

She made eye contact with Cameron after a moment, and the two began giggling.

———

On Yolanda’s 16th birthday, she opened her locker and this time, it wasn’t just a painting that fell out. She picked up the blue envelope, a small smile on her face. Her family hadn’t said anything to her that morning when she left for school. But Cameron has remembered. Cameron always remembered her.

She glanced to her left and right before pulling her nail across the top of the envelope, cutting it open. She pulled the card out reverently, tracing her fingers down the painting on the front. It was her. She marveled at the detail, he had really taken the time to get every detail just right.

For the first time in a very long time, Yolanda didn’t mind if someone saw her smile. This was the most loved she’d felt in a long time.

Finally, she gently folded the card open, scanning the neat cursive letters.

Yolanda,

I know we aren’t super close, but it would’ve felt wrong not to at least get you a card. I hope you don’t think the painting is creepy. I mean, I have sat next to you in science everyday since 7th grade, so I feel like it’s not completely weird... Anyway, I know these past few months have been hard for you, but I hope the paintings have helped, even just for a minute. 

Anyway, I’m really happy we’re friends. 

Happy 16th Birthday,

Cameron Mahkent

Yolanda felt the tears roll down her cheeks, but she didn’t mind. A good happy cry was exactly what she needed right now, screw the people that would make fun of her.

———

Yolanda was used to the teasing, she really was. But whenever the new girl tried to step in, it just made it so much worse. Didn’t she get that? So when the blonde tried to say something about the big white letters across her locker, Yolanda just got frustrated. Did she not understand that by speaking up she was only making things harder for the brunette? Speaking up only fueled her classmates rage. Yolanda sighed as she walked to chemistry. Cameron could make this all better. He always did.

But, when the bell finally rang, Cameron was nowhere in sight. What had happened, where was he? 

Yolanda started panicking. Cameron was the person that helped make her feel normal, and if he wasn’t here, she didn’t think she could handle today. Not after that message on her locker. She put her head in her arms and tried not to let anyone see her cry.

After class, Yolanda was out of her seat in a flash. She jogged down the hall to her locker, to put her books away before lunch when she saw the words had been painted over. What had once been an ugly reminder of what she had done, was now a beautiful floral pattern, that Yolanda knew Cameron had spent a very long time on. She smiled to herself, running her fingers across the paint before slowly turning the lock. She swung the door open, and today, two paintings fell out. One of the tree on the hill from their elementary school, and the other was an artistic representation of the mess they had made in chemistry last week. Yolanda giggled, clutching the two paintings to her heart. 

Cameron was so sweet. He was going to kill her with his kindness.

———

The whole school felt quiet the day of Joey Zarrick’s memorial. And Yolanda felt guilty. She loved the silence. It meant not a single person was making fun of her. Not one. And when she remembered why no one was paying any attention to her, she felt a wave of shame overtake her. 

“Hey…” Cameron sat down next to Yolanda. She reached her hand up onto the table, squeezing his forearm. 

“I’m so sorry.” Cameron gave her a sad smile. 

“Thank you.”

———

Courtney Whitmore may have given Yolanda the means to take her life back when she asked her to be Wildcat, but Cameron’s kindness was the reason she was able to stand tall. She had needed both of them to be able to begin to heal. So when Courtney had texted her that Cameron had asked her to Homecoming, Yolanda let out a squeal of excitement. 

They were going to make the cutest couple. She sank back onto her bed, opening a text for Cameron.

Cam, it’s Yolanda

You finally got your phone back!

I did!  
Courtney told me you asked her to homecoming?

Yeah  
She’s really nice  
I kind of like her

Yolanda made a face at her phone. Of course he did. This boy was so sweet. He deserved someone as sweet as Courtney.

Yeah, she is pretty awesome.

Yolanda let her phone fall to her side as she stared up at the ceiling. She smiled. Cameron and Courtney. Her two favorite people were going to make each other so happy. She felt her phone buzzing in her hand. Was Cameron calling her? She brought the phone up to check the caller ID. 

Pat Dugan flashed across the screen. 

Yolanda shot up, sliding her finger across the phone to answer the call.

“What’s wrong?”

———

After Courtney got hurt, Yolanda felt a rift begin to form between her and Cameron. The fight against the ISA had gotten so serious. Henry joined them, and almost died. But then he didn’t. Then Courtney’s real father, Sam Curtis had shown up and even though Yolanda had been hurt by her actions, she had to be there for her friend. 

When the ISA tried to kill Courtney and her family, they hid away in a cabin for a few hours. And then the fight had begun. So, by the time Yolanda could hang out with Cameron, she couldn’t bring herself to. After all, she had watched his father die and felt relief. How could she ever look at Cameron the same again?

The day Cameron finally returned to school after his father’s death, he dropped into the seat next to Yolanda, eyes red and puffy. He turned to her.

“Could you please come to the funeral?” Yolanda felt her heart beat increase. How could she tell him ‘No, I can’t’, when he looked like that? And he was asking so politely. Yolanda almost said yes. But then she remembered.

“Umm…” Yolanda nervously let her eyes flicker back and forth between her lab partner and the whiteboard. Somehow hoping that it would provide a way out. When it became clear she would have to get herself out of this mess she sighed, closing her eyes for a brief moment.

“I’ll have to ask my parents. You know how they are…” Cameron nodded his head slowly, turning his body to face the front of the classroom. Yolanda’s heart broke as he took detailed notes. No doodling in the corner. No leaning over to ask her what he had missed. Cameron deserved better than this.

———

When Yolanda caught sight of her friend across the room, she stopped dead in her tracks to stare. Which had been a terrible idea. It gave Sportsmaster the perfect opportunity to land a perfect shot to the middle of her back. She let out a painful cry, jumping forward. She spun to face her opponent. Snarling, she leapt for the older man, who easily sidestepped, dodging her claws. She growled in frustration, watching over her shoulder as Courtney pounced on him.

Yolanda let her eyes make their way back to Cameron. She felt her heart break as her eyes reached him just in time to see him send a gust of freezing wind in Rick’s direction, shoving him to the ground. She gritted her teeth, steeling herself for what she was about to do. 

Yolanda turned to the young boy and took a running start before leaping towards him. Her claws racked across his chest, tearing the dark material of his shirt and leaving deep gashes across his icy chest.

“What are you doing, Cameron?” She seethed. He let out an audible gasp, eyes going wide at the sound of her voice.

“Yolanda?” She scrunched her nose up in response.

How had she been stupid enough to believe Cameron was a good guy? He had been the rule this whole time, not the exception. She was starting to believe there were no exceptions. At that thought tears pricked the edges of her eyes.

“Don’t act like you didn’t know.” She snarled, baring her teeth, which made Cameron shrink back.

“I-I had no idea, Yolanda, I swear!” She almost believed him. Almost. But her hurt and anger prevented it.

“Sure you didn’t. I can’t believe I ever thought we were friends. She caught sight of a look of shock and hurt cross his face at her words, so she took the opportunity to flip over the boy, grabbing the collar of his jacket as she went, flinging him into the wall. He slid to the floor, motionless.

Yolanda turned, reaching out to pull Rick up.

“Are you okay?” She asked as she threw her arm around his waist. Rick nodded, wincing in pain.

“I’ll be okay.” Yolanda gave him a skeptical look.

“We should get you out of here.” She motioned for Courtney, who blasted Sportsmaster into the ceiling. The blonde hopped onto her staff before flying over to them. The cosmic staff scooped them up before quickly flying back to the garage.

———

“Yolanda, you don’t think I’m angry too?” Courtney attempted to put a comforting hand on her best friend’s shoulder, but Yolanda’s anger was so great, she just shrugged off the affection.

“You don’t understand,” The brunette spat, “Cameron was the only person who treated me normal. The ONLY one.” Rick looked down, sadly.

“I treated you normal...” Courtney once more reached for her friend.

“You weren’t there for it, Court. Cameron was. Cameron was there, and he didn’t let that stop us from being friends.

“He went out of his way to be kind to me, and now he...” Yolanda bit her lip. This was too much.

“I need to be alone.” 

“Yolanda!” She heard both Rick and Courtney call out to her, but she didn’t let it stop her. 

Yolanda walked home as quickly as she could. Slamming her door closed before falling to her bed. She let out a sob, clutching her pillow. Her hand brushed against something flat and smooth as she did. She pulled away from her pillow, gently bringing the item out. It was a notebook. It was THE notebook. She couldn’t believe she forgot about it. 

Gingerly, she flipped open the cover.

The tears streamed silently down her face as she began scanning each of the paintings. Her fingers lightly grazed over each of them as she turned the pages. When she made it to the card from her birthday she brought her hand back to her chest, making a disgusted face. 

The cool tears of sadness quickly became hot and angry at the sight. She snatched the thick paper tearing her face down the middle. She threw the halves away from herself, taking deep breaths, trying to slow her breathing. She closed her eyes, bringing her sleeve up to wipe away the tears. 

Yolanda looked back down at the notebook. It had made her so happy for so long, now, looking down at it, all she wanted to do was scream. So she did. And she chucked the book as hard as she could against the wall. She watched as most of the tape was ripped from the pages, making the paintings fluttered out. 

The one person who had been there for her, and he wound up joining the ISA. How had she been so stupid? She fell face first onto her bed once more. She screamed into her bedding until she felt her throat go horse. 

Finally she settled in on her knees. The tears had subsided, but now there was a hot spike of anger pushing into her chest. She want to punch Cameron in his stupid face.

“Stupid Cameron, making me think he cared. That he was a nice guy. Ha.” She muttered, stepping down to her floor. She needed to get ready for bed. When she caught sight of her ripped face on the floor, she hesitated. The spike that had been digging into her chest softened for just a moment.

He had to at least have cared a little bit, right?

Wrong. 

The spike was back with renewed force as she turned and walked into her bathroom.

———

When Cameron came to, his chest was wet and warm and his head hurt. He slowly opened his eyes. Ouch. Promptly, he shut them again. 

“Get up, kid.” Cameron heard Larry, but it sounded as though he were speaking through water, garbled and unclear.

“What... What happened?” Cameron slowly began sitting up, reaching to clutch the back of his head. He kept his eyes shut tight. Not willing to open them just yet.

“We got our asses handed to us, is what happened!” Issac fumed, angrily brushing his hand through his hair. Cameron blinked rapidly, allowing his eyes to adjust to the light. He looked up at the pair standing over him. Sportsmaster’s right eye was swollen shut and he was riddled with cuts and bruises. Issac didn’t look much better. His lip was split and swollen where Hourman had punched him.

Wait, if Courtney was Stargirl, and Yolanda was Wildcat, did this mean Rick Tyler was Hourman? Cameron’s head spun at the realization, he squeezed his eyes shut once more, hoping that would stop the motion. He brought a hand up to hold his chest. At the feel of rough cloth he glanced down. So that’s why his chest was wet. The four slices Yolanda had cut into his chest were now wrapped in bandages, that was oozing blood. He let out a silent prayer of thanks that his teammates had thought to dress his wounds.

“What happened?” Issac crosses his arms across his chest angrily, “I saw you freeze up when Wildcat came at you.” Cameron attempted to stammer out an answer. 

What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t tell them about Yolanda. He couldn’t. She might not think that they were friends after finding out he was a part of the ISA, but Yolanda had been his only real friend. He had to keep her safe.

“They just caught me off guard. I thought Larry was getting Wildcat.” Cameron hoped that was enough for them. He let his eyes flick back and forth between their unreadable faces.

“I can’t be everywhere at once, kid, you’ve gotta be prepared!” Larry joined Issac in crossing his arms.

“I know, I’m sorry, it was my first real battle with the JSA, it won’t happen again.” 

“It better not.” Larry and Issac both turned heading toward the exit. Cameron let out a sigh of relief, lying back down. He stared up at the ceiling for a few silent moments.

“What happens now?”

———

Henry was the first to catch sight of Cameron when they stormed the ISA’s new base of operation. When he saw him, the redhead ran straight for him, shoving him up against the wall.

“How dare you!” He spoke through gritted teeth, looking up at the brunette. Cameron returned the look with a sneer.

“What do you mean, Henry?” Cameron’s voice had so much venom, Henry accidentally let him drop to the floor.

“I mean you broke Yolanda’s heart, and you’re going to pay for that.” Henry clenched his fists, preparing to send the boy flying to the ceiling. Hoping to put the powerful villain out of commission. But the other boy once again took him by surprise by laughing. It was a bitter laugh that stunned Henry to his core. What part of this did Cameron find amusing?

“You are one to talk about breaking Yolanda’s heart.” Henry growled. Why did Cameron have to bring that up?

“You destroyed her, I was the only person who would even look at her! I’ve been waiting to be able to do something to you for months because of what you did!” Cameron hit the boy with a handful of ice spikes, making him go flying.

As the ginger hit the opposite wall, Cameron surveyed the room. His eyes finally caught sight of Yolanda’s figure. Trying to slice Cindy in two. Cameron felt his heart stop as he watched Cindy duck behind her, twisting around to stab the girl in the back. Her cry of pain got his heart beating again and he rushed towards them. He sent a gust of frigid air in the direction of the two girls that sent them both flying backwards. 

“Yolanda!” He heard Rick shout, as he slid over to her on his knees. He laid her across his legs, the deep wound Cindy had left facing the ceiling.

“Is she breathing?” Cameron stood over the pair, heart racing as he tried to get a glimpse of her face. Rick brought her up to a sitting position as he pulled her closer.

“Get the hell away.”

Cameron took a few steps back. Terrified of the look on Rick’s face. 

Cameron let his eyes fall down to his friend’s back, red blood oozing from the deep gash. What had he done? This was his fault. He shouldn’t have continued to fight. Once he realized that these were his friends he should’ve stopped. 

Cameron took a step back as Rick flipped the girl over, gingerly lifting her in his arms. He rushed toward the exit.

“Call a hospital!” Rick shouts at Beth as he passes by. She nodded, speaking to that invisible voice she had been the entire fight. 

Cameron watched as Courtney managed to bash Tigress in the back of the head with her staff. She then grabbed Henry’s limp body lying on the floor, struggling to get him over her shoulder. Finally, she sat on the staff and it flew away, Beth grabbing it as it flew past her. 

Cameron was left standing there, unsure of what to do. 

“Cameron!” Cindy snarled, kicking herself up and brushing herself off, “What the hell was that?” Cameron turned to face her, then he turned to look at Tigress, Issac and Sportsmaster. He couldn’t do this anymore. What WAS he even doing? 

Then it hit him. He was doing this for his dad. Because he thought that’s what he would’ve wanted him to do. But Cameron didn’t want to. Cameron wanted to paint and go to school. And hang out with Yolanda. 

Yolanda.

“I’m done,” He glared between the two older ISA members, daring them to stop him.

“You can’t just leave!” Issac shouted.

“I can, and I am, do you really want to try to stop me?” Cameron began to re-freeze himself, a cold look passing over his eyes. Issac took a step back.

“That’s what I thought,” Cameron began to thaw once more. 

He tried to keep up an air of confidence as he walked out. But deep down, he was terrified Sportsmaster or Tigress would kill him. It wasn’t until he opened his front door he felt at ease.

———

Six years later...

Cameron was sitting on the quad, sketching out the scene in front of him, when his pencil was knocked out of his hand by a frisbee.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” Cameron looked up in confusion. He knew that voice.

“Yolanda?”

“Cameron?” Yolanda stopped short, hand outstretched towards the yellow disc.

“Holy shit, it is you! How have you been?” Yolanda tentatively straightened out, fiddling with her braid.

“Not too bad… You, um…” Yolanda glanced down at his sketch pad. An awkward silence passed over them for a few moments. Finally, she broke it, speaking softly.

“You never said goodbye.” Cameron’s face fell as he looked down, picking up his pencil.

“I...uh… I didn’t think you’d want to see me…” Cameron gestured up at her, “After all, I helped put you in the hospital.”

“I was going to the hospital before you blasted me anyway,” she brushed it off like it was no big deal. Even though it was. It was a huge deal, didn’t she know that?

“Yolanda…”

“Cameron…” she teased.

“One second.” She turned, throwing the frisbee towards her other friends, “I’ll be back in a minute!” She shouted before plopping onto the grass next to Cameron.

“What you did… Joining the ISA… It hurt. A lot at first.” She pulled at the grass.

“But after you left, I realized, you didn’t do it to hurt me.”

“How do you know that for certain?” Cameron bumped her shoulder, making her laugh.

“Because, I realized I knew you a lot better than I initially thought,” she stated matter of factly, “And I know that you were probably doing it through some sort of loyalty to your father. Who you didn’t owe anything to, by the way.” Cameron brought his eyes up to meet her’s.

“So…” he spoke after a few more moments of silence.

“So… Do you want to get coffee sometime?” Yolanda hugged her knees to her chest, “So we can really catch up?” Cameron offered her a wide grin.

“I would love that.”

**Author's Note:**

> If I didn’t make you cry, please let me know what I can do better next time, as that was my goal.
> 
> Also, some info that I didn’t include in the story, but I feel like I should share, Cam had a major crush on Yolanda in middle school. He got over it, but he def did. And also, I’m not sure if I made this obvious or not, but he left a painting in her locker every day they had school after the pictures were sent out. He wanted her to fill her life with pictures that weren’t THOSE pictures.


End file.
